her and the ocean

To her, water was life. It was how she learned to breathe. While others found themselves drowning in the powerful riptide she found her strength. She became fluid. She had found her direction in the seemingly still current. With each deafening crash of waves she had learned to listen. For some the ocean was a place to drown out the repetitious and unruly thoughts of self doubt, but for her? For her the ocean was a place she went to awaken the thoughts of love and self assurance. The ocean was her home. As a girl she would stand in the shallow waters, plant her feet firmly in the sand and as the tide rolled in she curled her toes into the sand even further and allowed the water to crash right into her legs. It was in this moment that this little one had learned the art and power of standing still and finding balance.  In a world that was so uncertain and daunting she always knew that if she could find her way back to the ocean she would be ok. She would survive. She would become buoyant. And her worries would wash away and vanish. But what if she couldn't find her way

to the body of water that had rescued her so many times before? What would she do? Who would she become? Time had passed and she had grown older. She had seen heartache, death, new life, more death and more heartache. And even in the midst of those tumultuous days she saw love. She saw happiness. She saw bliss and she saw joy. She fondly remembered her time as a girl skipping and frolicking along the shore line. She returned once more in search of those feelings of balanced fluidity. And what she found shook her to the core. She had never left. For she was the thunderous, deafening, powerful force. She was the ocean. She was water. She was always the one who gave her Soul, her Higher Self direction. And with that recognition she was humbled. There was only one thing left to do. Float in the deep waters of gratitude. And so she did.

selfish is the new selfless

I have been meditating a lot on self care and self love and what it really means to my well being as a mother, as a wife and most importantly as a thriving and fulfilled individual. I am curious as to when society decided that it was considered selfish for a woman to put herself first. I know for certain that this notion dates back centuries. I remember watching my mother work tirelessly and often she would say how guilty she felt when she was tired. Guilty about what? Being human? Having limitations? It's completely preposterous and yet I find myself traveling down guilt road more times than I would care to admit. Mothering has become a frantic race. A race to get the laundry done, get your kids to school, (and if you home school put together the coolest and most in depth lessons...for your 7 year old), bake the most epic Pinterest inspired snack, clean, and cook all the while making sure your kid doesn't turn to a life of crime and prostitution. The list is endless. And then there is that human. The one you created these tiny humans with. They need you too. Our men depend on us in a completely different way. Our men need us in a way that is raw and visceral. Like the earth needs water. We wear so many hats that we have taken multi-tasking to a whole new level. And we still find ourselves in this predicament of being "on" all the time. Somewhere in history it was decided that it would serve our families best if we dedicated our entire being to these humans. Please don't misunderstand. I know and value the importance of our role as mothers. I know how much these souls need us. But I am also conscious of the significance of a woman wholly satisfied with her life. She is powerful. We need to step back and reevaluate these thoughts and patterns that have become a part of our very DNA. It is not selfish for us to put ourselves first. It is not selfish for us to find things that make us happy outside of our family. I love my husband and I love my daughter, but that is not enough for me. I yearn for a life outside of them. And what I  mean by that is that I have my own dreams and my own endeavors. And I believe the desire to spread my wings and my desire to be a root firmly planted can coincide. I also think that when we find that balance our family will thrive. Our husband's will be inspired. For we also know and appreciate the power of the inspired masculine spirit.  And our children will witness love in action.  By nature, the feminine spirit is intuitive and nurturing. As we care for others throughout the day (and night) we extend this gentle grace and we tune into that intuition to guide us. Let us turn this attention and intuitiveness inward. Let it guide us to the place in our soul that allows us to love these humans that have chosen us. The love of a mother is without condition and knows no limits. What if we showered ourselves with that love? I believe that when we realize that our happiness is everything we can turn around and give it all to the ones who mean everything to us. When we do this we will see a bunch of happy kids, inspired men and fulfilled women roaming the streets giving love away freely. Imagine a world like that. And it all began with a "selfish" woman. Go figure. ;)