Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized yourself? I have. Don't get me wrong. I know it's me when I look in the mirror. I guess what I am trying to say is that when I look at myself in the mirror I recognize myself as Peyton's mom, Jack's wife, step mom, daughter, friend, and sister. Those things are a part of me, but they are not who I am. As mom's I think we get so accumstomed to hearing everyone else's names for us that we forget who we were before someone started calling us "Mom" or "Babe". What did I do for fun? What did I do for myself? What inspired me? As moms it is so important that we care for ourselves first. There's a couple reasons why. First, how can we expect to care for our families when we continually put everyone else first? Eventually we will become frumpy, burnt out and bitchy. That doesn't serve us and it certainly doesn't serve our family. I am hear to tell you that it is ok and completely acceptable to love yourself ladies. I mean really love yourself. Secondly, every time we put ourselves first we are teaching our daughters about the importance of self care which will eventually aide in her finding a partner who will honor her by encouraging her to love herself. If you have young boys in your home you are educating them on how important the feminine spirit is and that it is to be loved and cherished. A couple years ago I made the decision to put myself first. It was the best decision I have ever made. I am going to share with you goddesses a list of things that I have made a personal spiritual practice. On the days that I want to run off with gypsies or take an Italian lovah these are the things that ground me. Obviously I am being silly about the gypsies and the gorgeous international man. :) What's life about if we can't be completely and recklessly funny, right? ;)
1. Take baths. I love taking baths. Especially with bubbles and candles. Go all out! They have become a nightly ritual. And even on occasion I pour myself a glass of something that requires an ID when you purchase it. When I have had a day where I feel like running down the street screaming whilst removing all my clothes like a crazed woman I choose Scotch. And when I have had a day where everything goes smoothly and my daughter is the picture perfect child and I greet my husband (dressed and with my face on) I pour myself a smooth glass of red wine. :) If you are not comfortable drinking alcohol a cup of hot tea will do the trick also. There's something therapeutic about water. It seems to have the ability to wash away whatever is ailing me in that moment.
2. Make time for your girls. I love getting together with my friends. They have become like sisters to me. We have a certain camaraderie. Maybe because we are all moms and wives or maybe it's simply because we are all doing the best we can navigating our way through this journey called life. Either way there is something so naturally healing about spending time with other women. We encourage one another. We support one another. We hold each other accountable and most importantly we are silly with one another. When we go out we dress up and make a big to do about our evening. We go from yoga pants by day to fashion divas by night. There is something powerful about a woman who feels sexy. And when you put all of those women in one room? Wowza. That's all I can say. :)
3. Do something reckless with your man. We are moms. But first we are wives. Without these strong and masculine humans we wouldn't be mothers. Honor that. I know its a such a difficult thing to find balance with this. Trust me. I get it. We wear so many hats during the day and it can be a challenge to switch from the mom hat to the sweet and caring wife hat. Lets be real. Sometimes we just don't want to put that hat on. We are exhausted emotionally and physically most of the time. But rest assured when you do you will realize that this man wants you to fall into his arms and be vulnerable. He knows how hard you work and wants to be that soft place for you to run too. If your husband is like mine he is not very verbal with his praise and accolades, but when you feel the warmth of his arms around you will hear all those unspoken words. Recently my husband and I celebrated our 7th anniversary. We went to dinner and then we proceeded to a local tattoo parlor where I got my nose pierced. It was so fun! We also like to binge watch shows on Netflix. Whatever you do have fun! Be silly. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. It will be what drives you on the rough days.
4. Run. I love running. I realize not everyone does. Find something that you love to do. Whether its yoga, hiking, pilates, weight lifting, walking, or swimming find something that makes you feel alive. Exercise has taught me to trust my body. It has taught me to put one put in front of the other. It has taught me how strong I am. It's a way that I connect to God. It's my therapy. I have found that no matter how hard I pound the pavement is very forgiving. Listen to your heart and where it guides you when it comes to exercise. It won't steer you wrong.
5. Make affirmations. This is something that has become very near and dear to my heart. Get an index card and whatever you choose to write make sure that they are always affirming. Whatever your dreams for yourself are write the affirmation in such a way that states that you are coming from your dream and not going to it. For example if you want to be a more healthy individual you would write something like "I am so happy and grateful that I am healthy" or "I am health". "I AM" are the two most powerful words in the English language so we must be ever so careful what we attach to them. Make these words your mantras. Repeat them daily. Morning and night. You will be amazed at how a few words can turn your whole day around. You will go from stating, "Please don't let my kill these children" or "Please don't let me bury my husband in the back yard" to "I am love. I am patient." It's amazing what the power of positive thinking can do for your soul.
6. Throw a fit. Sometimes a bitch fit is a complete and utter necessity. If you have to cry, do it. And if one of these episodes just so happens to occur in the presence of your children do not feel guilty. If I can stress one thing it is this. It is so healthy that our children see that we are not perfect. Life can be stressful and our children see that we have the strength to be real and the courage to continue on. I believe that perfection is an epidemic in our society. It serves no one whatsoever. As women we need to stop striving for perfection and start striving to be real and honest with where we are at. Life can be hard. Life can be messy. And even in the midst of all of it life is still so beautiful. Our children will thrive on our authenticity. Most importantly be gentle on yourself. Someone once said, "Behind every great kid is a mom who thinks she is screwing them up." I don't recall who said that, but it really resonates with me. I hope it does for you too.
7. Be grateful. This is something that as I type I know this is my biggest struggle. I am guilty of playing the role of a victim a lot. Before your feet hit the ground in the morning make a mental list of 5 things that you are grateful for. Whether its the fact that you slept through the whole night without having to go pee or that you have steel cut oats waiting for you in the fridge it doesn't matter. I have learned that gratitude is the key to unlock the door for all of our dreams to be manifested. It makes space for abundance to come crashing into your life. Life is happening for us not to us. At some point in your day take a moment to check in with your soul and make another list. End your day this way too. Miracles happen when you do this. I promise.
8. Dream. This is the last thing that I will share with you. I love being a wife and I love being a mom. But it is not all I want to do with my life. I did not go to college. One of my dreams is to go back to college and get my degree. I would like to be a sex and relationship therapist. We are not just moms. We are women. We all have dreams. Imagine who you want to be outside of your children. It is ok do that. It is not selfish. Have drive. Dream big. Find out what inspires you and work on making that dream a reality.
I hope this list made you laugh and most of all I hope it stirred your soul. I hope that you realize how incredible life is and how amazing you are. Take a moment and put your hand on you heart. You feel that? You are worthy. You are Divine. Being a mom and a wife can be a challenge at times and most of the time it is completely rewarding. It teaches us how strong we are. It teaches us to rely on others. Put yourself first ladies. You deserve it. And so does your family. You are incredible. Don't you ever forget that. Sending you all so much love.
xo,
M
2. Make time for your girls. I love getting together with my friends. They have become like sisters to me. We have a certain camaraderie. Maybe because we are all moms and wives or maybe it's simply because we are all doing the best we can navigating our way through this journey called life. Either way there is something so naturally healing about spending time with other women. We encourage one another. We support one another. We hold each other accountable and most importantly we are silly with one another. When we go out we dress up and make a big to do about our evening. We go from yoga pants by day to fashion divas by night. There is something powerful about a woman who feels sexy. And when you put all of those women in one room? Wowza. That's all I can say. :)
3. Do something reckless with your man. We are moms. But first we are wives. Without these strong and masculine humans we wouldn't be mothers. Honor that. I know its a such a difficult thing to find balance with this. Trust me. I get it. We wear so many hats during the day and it can be a challenge to switch from the mom hat to the sweet and caring wife hat. Lets be real. Sometimes we just don't want to put that hat on. We are exhausted emotionally and physically most of the time. But rest assured when you do you will realize that this man wants you to fall into his arms and be vulnerable. He knows how hard you work and wants to be that soft place for you to run too. If your husband is like mine he is not very verbal with his praise and accolades, but when you feel the warmth of his arms around you will hear all those unspoken words. Recently my husband and I celebrated our 7th anniversary. We went to dinner and then we proceeded to a local tattoo parlor where I got my nose pierced. It was so fun! We also like to binge watch shows on Netflix. Whatever you do have fun! Be silly. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. It will be what drives you on the rough days.
4. Run. I love running. I realize not everyone does. Find something that you love to do. Whether its yoga, hiking, pilates, weight lifting, walking, or swimming find something that makes you feel alive. Exercise has taught me to trust my body. It has taught me to put one put in front of the other. It has taught me how strong I am. It's a way that I connect to God. It's my therapy. I have found that no matter how hard I pound the pavement is very forgiving. Listen to your heart and where it guides you when it comes to exercise. It won't steer you wrong.
5. Make affirmations. This is something that has become very near and dear to my heart. Get an index card and whatever you choose to write make sure that they are always affirming. Whatever your dreams for yourself are write the affirmation in such a way that states that you are coming from your dream and not going to it. For example if you want to be a more healthy individual you would write something like "I am so happy and grateful that I am healthy" or "I am health". "I AM" are the two most powerful words in the English language so we must be ever so careful what we attach to them. Make these words your mantras. Repeat them daily. Morning and night. You will be amazed at how a few words can turn your whole day around. You will go from stating, "Please don't let my kill these children" or "Please don't let me bury my husband in the back yard" to "I am love. I am patient." It's amazing what the power of positive thinking can do for your soul.
6. Throw a fit. Sometimes a bitch fit is a complete and utter necessity. If you have to cry, do it. And if one of these episodes just so happens to occur in the presence of your children do not feel guilty. If I can stress one thing it is this. It is so healthy that our children see that we are not perfect. Life can be stressful and our children see that we have the strength to be real and the courage to continue on. I believe that perfection is an epidemic in our society. It serves no one whatsoever. As women we need to stop striving for perfection and start striving to be real and honest with where we are at. Life can be hard. Life can be messy. And even in the midst of all of it life is still so beautiful. Our children will thrive on our authenticity. Most importantly be gentle on yourself. Someone once said, "Behind every great kid is a mom who thinks she is screwing them up." I don't recall who said that, but it really resonates with me. I hope it does for you too.
7. Be grateful. This is something that as I type I know this is my biggest struggle. I am guilty of playing the role of a victim a lot. Before your feet hit the ground in the morning make a mental list of 5 things that you are grateful for. Whether its the fact that you slept through the whole night without having to go pee or that you have steel cut oats waiting for you in the fridge it doesn't matter. I have learned that gratitude is the key to unlock the door for all of our dreams to be manifested. It makes space for abundance to come crashing into your life. Life is happening for us not to us. At some point in your day take a moment to check in with your soul and make another list. End your day this way too. Miracles happen when you do this. I promise.
8. Dream. This is the last thing that I will share with you. I love being a wife and I love being a mom. But it is not all I want to do with my life. I did not go to college. One of my dreams is to go back to college and get my degree. I would like to be a sex and relationship therapist. We are not just moms. We are women. We all have dreams. Imagine who you want to be outside of your children. It is ok do that. It is not selfish. Have drive. Dream big. Find out what inspires you and work on making that dream a reality.
I hope this list made you laugh and most of all I hope it stirred your soul. I hope that you realize how incredible life is and how amazing you are. Take a moment and put your hand on you heart. You feel that? You are worthy. You are Divine. Being a mom and a wife can be a challenge at times and most of the time it is completely rewarding. It teaches us how strong we are. It teaches us to rely on others. Put yourself first ladies. You deserve it. And so does your family. You are incredible. Don't you ever forget that. Sending you all so much love.
xo,
M
